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Maple Ridge author takes the plunge

Ronda Payne’s short story The Plunge published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Empowered Woman
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The Plunge by Ronda Payne is featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Empowered Woman. (Colleen Flanagan/THE NEWS)

As Ronda Payne stood on the small platform overlooking a deep gorge in Whistler, she hadn’t yet realized that her life was culminating in a series of moments that would be pivotal to the person she is today.

She thought she wanted to leap face-first, less scary for a first-time bungee jumper.

But then she realized she couldn’t do it. So she turned her back to the gorge and let her heels hang over the ledge. As she thought to herself, ‘I’ve got to do this, this is what I’ve come here to do,’ she let go.

Immediately, Payne tried to reach again for the rails, but it was too late.

She fell.

It is that moment the Maple Ridge writer chose to document in a short story that was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Empowered Woman, 101 stories about being confident, courageous and your true self, published by best-selling author Amy Newmark.

Payne has been a copywriter, non-fiction freelance writer and creative writer since 2007.

“My brain didn’t feel scared, my body felt scared,” said Payne, remembering the feeling of falling through the air.

“You want to flail, you want to move your body, and then this part of your brain kicks in and goes, ‘Well, what’s that going to do? Nothing. So just fall,’”continued Payne.

She went on the Whistler trip in 2007 with her husband-to-be.

She was expecting him to propose that weekend as they had already booked another trip to Vegas in five weeks with their best friends. Payne could read between the lines.

She was also trying to overcome depression and anxiety.

“For me, this moment of accepting that I was going to get married a second time and take that very scary chance and knowing that I was overcoming my mental health challenges and doing something as scary as bungee jumping was a culmination of saying, ‘I have changed, I have changed and I am ready and everything isn’t perfect, but I can do this.’”

When Payne looks back on her life, she realizes now that there were multiple markers indicating that something wasn’t right. She remembers getting post Christmas depression when she was only 11 years old.

“A child really shouldn’t get post holiday depression, but I did,” said Payne, recalling how she latched on to an item that came from a Christmas cracker to make her feel good for the next three days.

Payne also used to get anxiety over being late for school and was also a perfectionist when it came to her studies.

When Payne realized that her first marriage was not working out, she fell into what her naturopath called a low grade depression. She started seeing a counsellor and taking St. John’s Wort, which helped. But, the real life change came about 15 years ago when they finally split and Payne was living on her own.

She finally suffered a massive crash.

“I would pretend to be OK and then I would go home and lay in the fetal position in my living room,” said Payne, adding that it was just before this crash when she met her second husband, someone she now considers to be a mental health ally.

She says he was the one who pushed her to find the confidence in herself that she always looked to other people for.

When Payne saw the call for short stories for The Empowered Woman, she knew she had a story in her experience.

“The Plunge” is about how Payne changed as a human being.

“There are always points in your life where you are scared to take a leap, big or small,” said Payne, noting that whether it’s marriage, starting her own business, being a writer, taking an assignment that she has never done before, hosting a workshop or a festival, all of these things are scary to do.

“No matter what you are going through in life, you can reach within yourself and say, ‘It’s OK, I’ve got this. It’s going to be OK,’” said Payne.

“And even if it’s not OK, it’s going to be OK. Like if it all goes to hell in a handcart, it’s still going to be OK. And if it’s not OK, you’re not done,” she continued.

”Keep walking because it will get better.”

Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Empowered Woman is available for sale at Amazon, Simon and Schuster, Indigo Books and Music, Barnes and Noble amongst other retailers.

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The Plunge by Ronda Payne is featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Empowered Woman. (Colleen Flanagan/THE NEWS)


Colleen Flanagan

About the Author: Colleen Flanagan

I got my start with Black Press Media in 2003 as a photojournalist.
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